As the year is coming to a close, I wanted to sit down, reflect, and write down some lessons I learned in this unusual, challenging year. Personally, this has been the most challenging year in my life even excluding the pandemic. I wanted to take a moment and share three important life lessons I have learned in the last few months:

Difficult Situations Build Character

Your job, health, and current comfortable situations are not guaranteed. Things you thought you had control over can be taken away in a blink of an eye. This year has not been short of demonstrating this truth!

Many times I felt overwhelmed, anxious, and frustrated with the current situations I faced. I asked, "Why is this happening to me?"

The answer, I believe, is because this is the next lesson I needed to learn in life. I needed to fall before I could get back up. I needed to experience a little pain before I could appreciate life's treasures.

I was laid off due to the pandemic at the end of March this year. I believe I needed to be laid off. I did not want to be laid off (nor leave the company) but in hindsight, I think that's what I needed. This experience humbled me, made me appreciate my current situation more, and as a result, I am in a better job position. My current position utilizes my strengths more than my previous job could do. This was a blessing in disguise!

These difficult moments help define and shape your current identity and perspective. They will help guide and shape your future decisions. In life, you need to struggle. Struggling provides substance to life. Because after you succeed, and you will, life just feels more worth it.

Empathy Provides Perspective

Losing a job this year changed my perspective. You understand how a business operates at a deeper level.

One of the challenges I experienced applying for jobs is the lack of human empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The majority of people I came into contact with when applying to job positions (i.e. Recruiters, Human Resources, Managers) were not concerned about my problems. They cared about their problems and what you can do for them. This is not necessarily a problem, rather an observation! This is how most of the business world works.

Today I sit on the other side of the job application process. I interview candidates that will make up my team to put my company in the best position for the future. I remember what it felt like applying to multiple positions and receiving vague responses, really late responses, and sometimes no responses. It's very discouraging trying to provide for your family with companies refusing to respond to you. I began questioning myself how I could be better and help people sitting on the other side of a video screen during an application process. If I was in their shoes today, what would I appreciate? What would help them get a job?

Many times this means improving communication with the candidate so he or she knows what happens throughout the application process. Other times it was simply being respectful and trying to calm down a candidate from being nervous. Empathy is lacking within the business community. Empathy can provide companies looking for a competitive advantage something competitors cannot or will not offer.

It was not long ago when I was sitting on the other side trying to land a new position. Empathy is now fundamental in my approach when meeting new people. Everyone has a story and a different journey they have taken to come to this exact moment! I want to make sure I am treating people how I would want to be treated. This can mean going out of your way to show empathy to others you've met.

Since this was a year I was laid off, people also in the same situation are near and dear to my heart. I challenged myself to help find job candidates' new jobs even if they were not a good fit for my team at my current company.

One candidate in particular applied for my team. I liked this candidate however, outside my control my company decided to go another way. Instead of saying "Oh well, that's not my problem. Better luck for that candidate in his job search", I reached out to that candidate personally. I knew he was struggling to find a job and saw a lot of myself in him. He had lots of determination, drive, and ambition. I knew he would make a great fit at another company. I later connected him with a company, a company someone else connected me with when I was trying to find a new job. Someone else's good deed inspired me to pay it forward to another person.

I don't bring up this story to gloat but rather probe an idea of "What if we treated strangers with empathy?" Would we be able to make the current global situation a better place? Would this inspire another person to take up an act of kindness?

Rethinking Priorities

Lastly, this year has made me rethink my priorities. Due to the lockdowns caused by the pandemic, this has given me plenty of time to think about what is important. I started asking questions to my self such as, "Should I stay up late to help get the new software feature done so the boss can hopefully see my hard work? or "Should I use this time to become closer to my wife and develop a stronger connection at home?" or "Should I use this time to improve my physical and mental health?"

Contrary to popular opinion, I don't think there are easy answers. Each situation presents different challenges. However, I believe asking these questions allows you to start having a deeper conversation within yourself. Maybe you do need to spend more time polishing your craft because you need to find a new job. Maybe you do need to spend more time with your significant other because you realized it has been a while since you enjoyed quality time together. I think the most important part is to not go about life blindly, rather be mindful of what you intend to do.

The important thing here is to begin the process of thinking about what is important to you.

This was a very challenging year, a year I will not forget but will keep in the back of my head. These difficult moments have shaped and defined my identity and future. Just because 2020 was a difficult year does not mean 2021 has to be the same. Today is a day to take action and move forward in a positive direction!